December 2010
32 posts
so earlier i was thinking about all my new years resolutions, like being healthier, and focusing more on school and letting go of all my negative emotions, and not assuming the worst for potential friendships.
but then i was like fuck it. all i really wanna do is get really fucking good at chess. and maybe look good doing it.
actually i care a lot about all those other things too. but the...
and all i wanna do is play carroms and drink milky tea and feed the rabbit almonds and eat some of them myself, and have their whole family make fun of me, and bake apple desserts and eat delicious indian food cause it meant i was welcome and happy and loved
so yesterday i walked to my exboyfriends house to drop off a book that my grandma had borrowed from his mother, and it was really bizarre. no one was home when i got there, and I didn’t realize it until this morning but the feeling i had was exactly like I’d come home for the holidays, except i wasn’t allowed in or welcome there and just had to leave.
and then I had a dream...
not really sure what the point of moving out is if as soon as i come back for christmas they try and stamp any independence out of me.
so i haven’t bought anyone christmas gifts because i’ve had exams and then have been sick for the past three weeks… i’m the worst santa ever.
last night in toronto...
too sick to fucking do anything. grumpy grumpy grumpy grumpy grumpy
“I ought to say no no no. At least I can say that I tried”
Baby its cold outside is starting to sound more and more like a rape story than a love story to me..
being unfriended on facebook is kinda shitty, but whats really rattling is being unlisted as a sibling.
my step brother deleted my sister and i as his siblings on facebook, but left his biological sister. douche move bro, douche move.
“You’ve got to stop this war in Afghanistan.”
– Richard Holbrooke’s last words. (via cajunboy)
ack I actually feel like I need to rant so badly, but its at that point where things are so fucked up I can’t even explain.
I wish so badly that someone outside of this experience could even remotely understand what its like within the ‘trin bubble’ or the supposed bubble that the people within this college live in. its so bizarre.
its crazy the fucking level of debauchery...
awkward: my step mom poking me on facebook. we aren’t even friends…?
Tonight at christmas dinner, (which on a side note, aside from the ceiling, was exactly like christmas dinner at hogwarts, gowns and feast and great hall and all) I stole a poinsettia plant, and I’m so excited to have something to take care of, because I am going through intense pet withdrawal.
This is strachan hall, where I eat:
crazy no?
hahah what is this life
I should post more...
